Thursday, June 26, 2008

I'm sure you've heard about...

the teen pregnancies in Gloucester, Massachusetts. I read about it a couple of weeks ago and I was pretty horrified. I don't know, though, what horrifies me most about it...

When I was 9 years old, the boy who lived next door (also 9 years old) convinced me to fool around with him. We went out to the hunting blind in my neighbor's yard and I let him touch me, for a very long time. It felt wrong, but I did it anyway, because (and I'm still like this) I have a hard time saying no to people. I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Later that same night, an ocean of guilt washed over me and, paralyzed by shame and fear, I let hot tears roll down my face while my mother listened to me and rubbed my eyebrows until I fell asleep.

The shame I felt over that incident was enough to keep me away from any sexual experience until I was 16 and to hold on to my virginity, in a vice-like death grip, until I was 20. I have no regrets about that...I waited until I knew I was ready.

When I think about 15 year-old girls being pregnant and probably scared and probably completely ignorant of the responsibilities they'll face, I can't help but wonder what the hell is wrong with the world.

Do these girls want something to fix them? Do they not feel loved enough? Do they think it's cool or mature or interesting? Or, are they really ready for children? Do they know, at such a young age, what they want? (And even if they do, do they understand the difficulties of raising a child while pursuing an education?)

I think they're probably just products of a society that stresses being intensely sexual while failing, for the most part, to talk about it openly.

2 comments:

'That Girl' said...

This is good. I think these girls are also exposed to sexy/cute images of pregnant stars contantly. They don't see these stars sleepily milling down the grocery aisle w/ spit up in their hair and bad breath.

A.C. said...

:) I agree. We need more barfy baby stories in the movies...and they need to stop airbrushing the stretch marks and bags under the eyes of those new Hollywood moms. I know that new moms have those...I get them just from a night of studying.